Back and Forth

To be honest, half of the time I do it to myself.

I get burnt out quickly nowadays...I guess Una really did destroy me. Still, I press on.

I never used to burn out or need to recover so quickly...I used to be an unstoppable juggernaut with near unlimited amounts of energy.

And when I do burn out, I feel like I never want to try again...I feel like if I send out one more ounce of energy, I'll cease to exist altogether.

I'm fried.

So I take five and hope for at least a thousand years of peace and recovery...because I honestly need it and then some.

But I find that after only a few weeks, I'm itching to get back into it.

So I jump back into the action, only to find that after just a few minutes, my energy reserves are back down to zero and what I'm sending out doesn't feel as effective as it once was.

So I collapse again...each time harder than before.

Because, while rest is the main thing I seek....for some reason I just can't sit still and do nothing.

There's a large part of me that loves being in action...but I know I can't take it any more.

Are my glory days behind me?

Or do I just need to force myself to recover?

I dunno that I can...because I dunno if anyone else but me can - or will - actually get us out of here.

Because as long as even a small portion of the entirety of me exists here, in these realms, I will not consider myself free.

Una never knew of the massive amounts of energy I unleashed or the effects of their power...she thought she was the one doing it all. But that comes as little surprise - my energy never really left much of an impression on her anyways. Hmm.

Wonder why.

Maybe death is the only way out.

Too bad it didn't set me free a few months ago. :(

*sigh*

Immersion